Forty is Just Another Number

So far, so fail

Posted on: May 4, 2010

So I’m still not doing so well at this “reblogging” thing.  Sigh.  But I’m not going to give up just yet.  I’ll just have to admit to myself that I really can’t post more than once a week or so.  At least until things calm down a bit.


The whole idea of this blog is to talk about my impending milestone and trying not to have it suck quite so much.  Thirty didn’t bother me at all.  And why would it have?  I had (still have by the way) a great husband, awesome kids.  I was exactly where I wanted to be doing exactly what I wanted to do.

And now? Well, I still have the awesome husband and the awesome (most days) kids.  And my house?  I still mostly love.  But that last?  Not so much.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything.  But I have to say that it’s time for me to do more.  I need to get back to work, not just for me, but for the sake of my family.  I need to be earning money and I need to have a career.  I need to be planning for my (our) life after the kids.

You may have noticed that this is quite possibly the absolute worst time to be thinking of starting a career.  Strangely enough, companies aren’t just falling all over themselves trying to hire moms who have been out of the workplace for the past ten or so years.  I know, just amazing, but it’s true.  I must have sent out a hundred resumes in the past few months.  For those who have made the jump from this blog, you know about my first foray back into the workforce.  It.Did.Not.End.Well.  To say that I am now a little gun-shy does not even begin to describe what I am feeling right now.  Add to that the crushing depression that comes with sending out tons and tons of resumes with no results, well I think you know where I might be.

Or might still be if weren’t for some sort of miracle.

Yes folks, I appear to have finally found my niche.  I have a job.  And not just a job, but a new career.  And when I’m not shaking in my boots from utter fear of failure, I’m actually pretty excited.  I think it is something I can do, and do very well.  Better still?  I don’t have this feeling of impending doom that things are going to go badly.

The only thing that worries me is that I have this tendency to get all super excited about something and then…..ADD takes over or something blows up in my face and it’s all over.  This has happened a lot to me lately and I really wish it would stop.  The flip side of this is that no one thinks I’m this perfect person who always does things right and perfectly anymore.  Of course they think I’m a bit of an unreliable ditz at this point, but I think I can recover.  Again the plus side?  No one at church will ever ask me to be in charge of anything ever again.  🙂

Where was I? Oh, the new career.  That’s all I am going to say at this point, other than it is, what my BFF-if-I-only-lived-in-Boulder calls, the Holy Grail of Mom Jobs.  I just have to remember to pace myself, not get too excited, and let it all come naturally.

In this, I will not fail.


1 Response to "So far, so fail"

I am totally dying to know what the job is!

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  • Kori: I am totally dying to know what the job is!
  • Unknown Mami: Probe? What a horrid name for a car.
  • Unknown Mami: Welcome to your new home. I'm turning 39 this year so reading about your journey will be particularly interesting.



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